Ultimately
by Bassgurl9213
Summary: Chapter 9. What if someone broke your heart, your sister that you haven't seen forever comes to see you, and you just might get a second chance with Her? Would you take the risk of getting your heart broken again? It starting to take on more shape.
1. The OC

Its my first fanfic in awhile so tell me if I should have even started back up again.

I dont own anything.(Just the fic.)

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_**Ultimately **_

She knows that if she went back out with Ryan, he could protect her. Just like he did last time they dated. He would protect her even if they were just friends. He saved her in Tijuana, from loneliness (for awhile at least) and ultimately, from destruction. But then they broke up and just like that, she has sad, old Marissa again; alone. Friendship happened when came back from Chino.

But he just went to Miami at the wrong time. He couldn't protect her from Trey. If he couldn't, no one could have; right? What if everything was different? What if Ryan wasn't the one to have to protect her from everything? Maybe the whole Trey shit wouldn't have happened at all. After all, the only reason she actually spent time with Trey was because he was Ryan's brother. What if Alex was still the one to protect her?

The "what ifs" ran through her mind. What if they were still together and Ryan didn't get in the way as usual? What if she didn't have to be so selfish and take the easy, safe, and secure way by running back to Ryan? What if she didn't leave Alex? What if she didn't break her heart? 'Too much to handle.' She thinks to herself. Then more questions flow into her head.

If she took a chance with Alex, would she be happier? Alex really was the only one that completely understood her motives, her personality, and her actions. Ryan didn't. Alex understood how fragile she was. She knew how to handle her; tame her. She knew how to protect her. Maybe not with strength, or from other people like Trey, but honestly, how many times do you encounter that sort of situation? Alex could protect her like no one else. Alex protected Marissa from herself; from her actions and motives that Alex understood so well.

If she was still with Alex, she wouldn't have had to go through that hell called Trey because Ryan couldn't protect her. Ryan wouldn't have had to go and fight Trey or make him pay. They wouldn't have gotten into that fight. Ryan's life wouldn't have been in danger. And Marissa wouldn't have had to shot Trey if she just stayed with Alex.

If she knew that going back with Ryan meant more serious and complicated shit to go through than if she didn't break up with Alex, would she have done it anyway? If Ryan could have protected her in the first place, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Marissa wouldn't have to deal with the fact that she shot someone. And when it comes down it, she could blame Ryan for everything; for not protecting her. But it's her fault. She left Alex. That just might ultimately be the worst decision she has ever made; the decision that started all of this shit.

Shout out to me with a review. And Maybe I'll give you something better than this.

-Ej


	2. LA

Ok. I have changed my mind. Its now a long fic. Thanks for 3 reviews. Wow. That's a lot. J/k. Doesn't matter though cause those reviews changed my mind. This Ch. Is about Alex.

_**Ultimately**_

_**Ch 2.- L.A.**_

June 2, 2005

L.A.

She glanced at the clock on her bedside. It stares 2am back her. Wide awake, Alex just stares straight up at the ceiling; mind blank. Wondering when Bruce or Bobby or Bill, whatever his name was, would leave. Frankly, she wanted to be alone. That's what she usually was; depressed, lonely, and desperate. That's where the guy came from. The desperation was all the time. Along with Charlie the night before, Sam, before him, Joan, before him, Lindsay and so on. Alex never felt anything for them. She inevitably felt nothing but emptiness more and more each night.

When she left Newport, Alex never thought that she might have belonged there, like there was a more important reason she was there than to just get her heart broken again. She hadn't talked to Marissa or anyone else in Newport since she left. She had this sick feeling at the pit of her stomach that told her something happened. But she didn't know what so she always shrugged it off as her heart ripping in two after thinking about Marissa with… Ryan.

Thinking of what she and Marissa could have had before Ryan got in there, made a single tear roll down her cheek. Alex look at the clock as it mocked her miserable state while now flashing 3:02am. Alex had been dreaming about Marissa for over an hour not even realizing she wasn't even asleep. Fuck. That damn, retched, sick feeling again. She got up without even thinking about it. She walked to the kitchen, right to the (you guessed it) vodka bottle. The only friend she had who never let her down.

Ryan. Every time she thought about that name, she wanted to crawl into a corner and die. She grabbed the bottle off the counter and dragged her feet over to the couch. Plopping herself onto it, with her chin on her knees, she cried. She really and truthfully sobbed for the first time this whole time. It just finally hit her. She made the biggest mistake anyone could have made in the history of earth just by leaving. If she didn't leave, she could have pulled off a "Seth". She could have kept trying to get her back. But she didn't. And she couldn't just go back. It was impossible. She couldn't correct this one. Alex was slowly, but surely, dying of a broken heart.

Not realizing the phone was ringing for a good 15 seconds, she came out of her daze, pulled herself together, and answered it.

"Hello?" She whispered still quite upset.

"Alex?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Yeah?" Alex answered a little irritated from the stupid question.

"It's…um…" They stumbled.

"Who? Come on. I'm not in the mood to be fucked around with!" Alex snapped.

"Parker." Parker spat out without hesitation this time.

Alex stood there shocked. She hadn't heard from her since she moved out of her parents' house. She wasn't supposed to talk to Parker because Alex's parents didn't want her to have contact with her. See, the thing was… Parker was Alex's little sister.

Cliffhanger. I have no clue whether or not Alex is an only child. In this she isn't (obviously) Review.

-Ej


	3. Parker Kelly

Hey, Thanks for the comments and the support. Just please keep up the comments. They make me feel special. ;) This is about Parker and a flashback of before Alex moved out.

_**Ultimately**_

**_Ch. 3 - Parker Kelly_**

June 1, 2005

Santa Monica

Parker Kelly; 15 years old, long, dirty blonde hair, popular, beautiful, but empty. Parker lives in Santa Monica with her parents. They moved there about 6 months ago and yet she became the most popular girl in school. She had pretty much everything. Nice house, plenty of friends and she was the best surfer in town. But still, there was something missing.

She was never truly happy. Parker always walked around with fake smiles and laughs plastered on her face and everyone believed them. No one ever saw through her. They couldn't see the internal pain that ate at her heart making the emptiness forming bigger and bigger. Soon, that hole will get so enormous and excruciating that she'll just become numb. With every day of Parker's short life, the pain in her chest rips her little frame of a body apart. Everyone knows her as a strong and tough girl; except her.

Parker has the perfect teenage girl life. But no life is perfect. Parker's life is far from perfect. Believe her when she says that she tries to be happy; even ecstatic. But nothing works. But the secret and pain at the bottom of her heart prevents happiness and instead provides agony. The agony that she's somewhere out there but no one knows where. No one knows who she is.

Parker's parents have been living a lie making her live it too. Believing that everything is peachy fucking keen; that their life is perfect, and their family is whole; the perfect Hallmark card family. Bullshit; far from it.

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May 5, 2004

Near Orange County

"This is the second time Alexandra in two years of high school! How the fuck do you think you're going to graduate with that reputation?" Mr. Kelly harshly spat at Alex while glaring at her with furious eyes.

"Dad, it wasn't my fault this time; I swear! I'm the scapegoat." Alex answered defensively.

"That doesn't really matter because you've already been expelled." Her mom exclaimed calmly.

The second time Alex was expelled was the second worst argument in the Kelly household that Parker has ever listened to. She hated hearing her parents repeat themselves to Alex about staying out of trouble and yelling at her. It never worked. Alex was a tough girl and she would stand up for herself. That's why she got kicked out of 2 schools; fighting.

Parker over heard the argument from the kitchen. "You got expelled again? What, did you kill a bitch this time?" Parker smart mouthed.

"Room. Go. Now." Mr. Kelly demanded to Parker.

"What, no soap in the mouth?" He glared at her. "I'm gone." Parker started to pick up on Alex's smart mouth attitude. While climbing the stairs where she would eavesdrop, Alex gave her a wink.

Parker and Alex were extremely close. If Parker got into trouble with their parents, Alex would be there. The two were hell for their parents. But Parker knew what they couldn't handle and therefore knew when to stop. But Alex didn't.

"One more time; you disappoint us one more time, you're gone." Mr. Kelly warned Alex.

"I disappoint you everyday so why not just throw me out now?" Alex answered.

"You want to push it? Keep going with the attitude. And I don't want you to influence Parker with your crap. Got it?" Mr. Kelly continued.

"Yes Sir." Alex responded in defeat.

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May, 13 2004

Parker was sitting in her room. So bored she actually might have killed herself if she didn't find something to do, she scanned over the house. While walking past Alex's room, she remembered that Jodie was over, Parker decided to find out what they were talking about.

"Jodie, I can't. If I do, they'll kick me out." Alex said.

"Then you'll live with me. Is that such a terrible thing?" Jodie pleaded. "Please? You have to tell them sooner or later. Why not get it off your chest now? Come on; for me?"

Alex just couldn't tell her parents about her and Jodie. "Jodie, I love you, but I can't. Not now. I can't…"Alex gasped when she opened her bedroom door and saw Parker standing at her door. "Parker! What the fuck?"

"Hey. What's up?" Parker asked innocently.

"Whatever." Alex shrugged leading Jodie down the stairs. "I'm going out. If Mom asks, I'm at the mall, got it?" Parker saluted Alex.

Later that night around 11:00, Alex still wasn't home. Parker, wide awake as usual, wondered what Alex and Jodie were talking about earlier, wondered where she really went, and wondered why she didn't tell her.

1:45AM, Parker woke up, not realizing she fell asleep, to the scream fest down stairs. Alex was home. Parker had it. She hated when Alex made her parents yelled like this. What did she do now?

"Its almost 2 in the morning for God's sake! Where the hell have you been? Alex, why can't you behave? Be a damn role model for Parker? That's all we fucking ask from you. You're the worst influence for her." Mr. Kelly erupted in Alex's face.

"Then if I'm such a bad influence on her then I'll move out! There? Are you happy now? I'll just move out and get a job, and live with Jodie because she loves me and I love her!"

OMG! What? Parker couldn't believe what she just heard. Apparently, neither did her parents.

"What, did, you, just, say?" Mr. Kelly asked astonished. His eyes were burning into Alex's brain.

"You heard me. I love Jodie and there's nothing you can do about it." Alex repeated. What did she just say?

Parker couldn't believe it. This huge news was kept from her by her own sister. Alex told Parker everything and vise versa. Well, mostly. Parker leaned against the wall, slid down to the floor, and cried. She knew that her parents would kick Alex out for sure and wouldn't let her talk to Alex.

"I'll just get my stuff and I'm gone." Alex said as she ran up the stairs. She stopped at the top when she saw Parker sitting there in the hall, crying her eyes out. Alex was heart broken. She never wanted to hurt Parker like this. She never even thought about how all this would affect Parker.

"Alex." Was all Parker could muster out.

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Present Day

Parker curled up on her bed. She couldn't take this anguish on her heart anymore. She needed to talk to Alex. She needed to see her. That's it. She decided to run away and find her sister. But the problem was… Alex lived in L.A. How was Parker going get there? Her dad's credit card.

She packed her clothes, her CDs, some food, grab Mr. Kelly's wallet off the counter, snuck out of the house, and she was off to L.A. to see Al.

Chapter 4 will be about Marissa and Alex. It will have 2 parts. I'll try to make the Chapters longer than the first 2. anyways. Keep reading and please please please review. Its takes like 2 seconds.

Ej


	4. Life on Standby

**-Next chapter. Thanks for the comments but you know, more comments equals more chapters. Duh. So more comments please. God, lol. This is about a little bit of everyone involved. **

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_**Ultimately **_

**_Ch. 4- Life on Standby_**

**June 1; 10:00pm**

**Newport**

Marissa was a wreck. She was starting to hate herself more, with everyday that Alex wasn't with her, for what she did. On the beach that night at the bonfire, she had to make a choice. A choice between taking a chance, or playing it safe; not knowing the future, or having a crystal ball in front of her; leaving the comfort zone of her life as a rich spoiled girl, or end up like her mother; girl or guy; Alex or Ryan. She chose Ryan of course and that went to shit. She made everyone happy but the one person that mattered. She thought about quantity; not quality. Why did it matter that everyone else was pleased? Who cares what everyone else feels. Be selfish. Be happy. Fuck the World.

She knew she didn't love Ryan anymore. But she still chose him. It's the reasonable way out. It wouldn't cause as much problems as it would have if she stayed with Alex. That was crap. Well, it's too late to dwell on mistakes now. But the hurt is still there. The regret still ripping that once beautiful heart to pieces. The only cure; a fifth of vodka… or Alex. But that wouldn't happen and she knew it. 'Hey Dr. Happy Juice; numb me.' Marissa thought to herself falling to her bed for her daily 'therapy' with Doc.

Summer walked into the empty Nichol Manner. She hadn't seen Marissa for awhile and was worried. This whole Trey thing was hard on her. She knew nothing would be the same after Trey. She also knew Marissa and Ryan were having troubles and weren't really talking. Summer knew that them getting back together meant bad shit happening. She wanted to kill Seth when she found out that he was involved in the breakup between Marissa and Alex. It wasn't entirely his fault, but she knew he didn't really feel bad after.

Wondering if she was okay, or even alive, Summer cautiously walked delicately up the stairs. She leaned her ear against the door to see if she could hear any activity; nothing.

Knocking, Summer opened the door carefully.

Cringing not wanting it to be Ryan, Marissa quickly turned around on her bed. Relieved to see Summer, she relaxed a bit. "Hey." She greeted.

"How are you? Ya know, summer, parents… Ryan." Summer asked.

"Shitty, great, and don't say his name." Marissa answered bitterly.

"Okay. You and Ryan still trouble central?"

"What, do, you, think? We're fucking dandy!" Marissa answered viscously.

"Are you drunk; again? Marissa, what's so bad that you have to do this to yourself? Trey lived, they ruled it defense of others, and he got arrested after he got out the hospital for illegal weapon possession. So what's going on between you and Ryan now?" Summer replied forcefully.

"Don't get on my back about my relationship. Its none of your fucking business!"

"Why don't you just tell me because I am not backing off this time. I'm not leaving. I've let you go to vent and you go do the dumbest things like getting drunk or…" Summer answered not backing off.

"Or what; like break up with the most perfect person that I've ever met and did nothing but treat me like a human being?" Marissa exploded in Summer's face jumping from the bed. "Like I was the only person in the world? Who loved me; flaws and sins and all? For what; a kid from Chino who only hurt me over and over and over time after time? Who I had to defend by shooting his brother and creating even more pain all because I was scared of everything I ever knew being taken away from me? Because I was too damn scared of taking a chance on something I wanted; the only thing that made me happy. I made everyone happy except for the one person I actually cared for. I don't love Ryan. I hate him for making me choose him!" Marissa snapped. Venting to her best friend, Marissa admitted everything that no one knew; except her. "I hate myself. I broke her heart. I don't deserve her; I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to be miserable with Ryan." She finished in defeat. She leaned against the wall, slid down it, and broke down shivering, and balling her eyes out.

Summer was stunned. It felt like she was hit by a train of emotions; the _real_ emotions of her best friend. She didn't know what to do. Still standing there after about 3 whole minutes, she ran to Marissa's side and sank down to the floor hugging Marissa. Finally knowing the truth, Summer got an idea to make her friend happy; track down Alex.

**

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June 2; 3:05am**

**Alex's place**

"Alex, I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to here from but I couldn't take it anymore. Life without you sucked. Mom and Dad have been strict ever since you left with me and keep telling me not to end up like you and I just want to tell them to shut the fuck up but don't because I'm 'The good girl'. And I can't live like this anymore. They go on acting like you never existed. I did hear Mom on the phone with you one time though so maybe she still loves you. That's how I got your number. I stole it from Mom's purse." Parker explained in one breath. Now panting she was worried that Alex didn't want to talk to her when she heard silence. "Alex? Please talk to me." She pleaded. More silence. "Lexi, please? I'm so sorry. Talk to me. Don't hate me, please." Parker pleaded again, this time on the verge of tears.

"Parker I could _NEVER_ hate you. You're my little sis." Alex assured Parker coming out of the daze when Parker said 'hate'.

"So, you want to talk to me?"

"I'm still processing all of this, of course I want to talk to you, wait? Where are you? I know Dad wouldn't let you talk to me. _HE_ doesn't even talk to me." Alex said all at once.

"In front of the bus station." Parker answered with a nervous chuckle.

"Wait-

"I'm in town… Guess who's town?" Parker interrupted.

"PARKER! Does Mom at least know?" Alex replied

"I'm guessing she will when she doesn't find me in my bed when she gets me up for school. It's the last day by the way, so I don't have to worry about that." Another nervous chuckle.

* * *

An hour later, Alex was at the bus station. After the longest hello ever for Alex with her sis, the ride home and the "Dad" talk came. Alex felt like she had to set a stern example for Parker. She had to be a role model. But how could she? She hadn't seen her in forever. "Parker, you can't just run away from home." Alex told her sternly.

"Why? You did." Smart mouthed Parker.

"Hey! That's not fair. I had no choice. They kicked me out!" Alex replied raising her voice a bit.

"They may have kicked you out of their life, but _I DIDN'T_!"

"But-

"No. I'm not done. You did have a choice. You could have stayed at least in town and I could actually see you. Or you could have called me. You got emancipated from them, but not me. I wanted you to stay Alex! I needed you. I was 14. I needed someone to look up to. But I had on one. For over a year, I had to go and make believe I didn't have a sister. And as the time went by, it actually got easier every day I didn't hear from you." Parker said in one breath again. She had a tendency of doing that especially when she really had something to say.

At this point, Alex pulled the Jeep over. She was speechless. When these two got into arguments, and Parker said something, Alex knew whatever she came back with , Parker would shoot it down. "Okay. You came all this way to yell at me. You couldn't do this on the phone. Right. I'm sor-

"No I am. That's not the reason I came here. But when you said goodbye to me the last time you were at the house, I didn't know it would also be the last time you would see me in over a year. And that one time you called, I never meant what I said. I don't hate you. I never have." Parker interrupted yet again, but with tears in her eyes. Parker rarely cried. She took after Alex in that department. But when it came to Alex, she was extremely vulnerable.

Sometimes, Alex thought Parker was Bi-polar because one minute she was yelling at her and the next, she's apologizing. That happened quite often when she lived at home. "I, am, so, sorry, Parker. I never thought that you would have such a hard time with all this. You were always so strong. I thought you could handle it. Please don't be mad at me." Alex responded. She never meant to hurt Parker. That was the last person in the world she would want to hurt.

"Just drop it. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm here; you're here. _That's_ all that matters." Parker said plastering a fake smile on her face. There goes her 'Bi-polar'.

Alex knew it wasn't over. She knew exactly what she was doing. The only reason she did know was because she does the same thing. It was a tactic to stop painful arguments from going any further at the time; but it was far from over. Seeing that Alex was pulling back onto the road, Parker took this opportunity to grab a CD out of her bag and pop into the CD player. Alex stole the case from Parker to see who it was that Parker wanted to listen to.

"Hawthorne Heights? Why?" Alex asked questioningly.

"Because too much yelling in a song gives you a headache; unless it's metal, of course. And it's not that indie crap you like you so much." Answering Alex's question, Parker pressed random on the stereo, then play. (Of course, the player still started on the first song of the CD.) Parker hated that even though her favorite song started to play; track 1, _Life on Standby._

_**The distance and,  
my hearts to sand,  
flowing through the hour glass.  
Time to let go of all we know,  
and break our hearts in stride**._

Alex couldn't help herself when she started to concentrate on the words of the song. It was mellower than she expected. She expected Lamb of God type music. Then the next verse came on.

**_I need you now,  
more like yesterday the last day,  
I could see you smile,  
for the last time _**

**_turn out the lights,  
my life on standby,  
So standby and watch,  
this fall away and fall apart_**

Alex started to think of the one person she completely forgot about when Parker called. For the first time since she met Her, she wasn't thinking about… Marissa. But now, listening to this song made her think of only Her. She fell into a trance of Marissa. Alex needed her. That damn feeling from earlier came washing over her.

**_Just say that it's over,  
it's over and she's gone,  
don't worry he said,  
and she's not coming home,  
it's over and she's gone._**

Thoughts of Her came rushing back into Alex's head with every word of the song she heard. She couldn't take it. She kept losing her breath. She felt like she could pass out at any moment from her heart being ripped out and stomped on. Alex realized Marissa will never be hers again. This realization was the most painful thing she ever experienced.

**_The distance and,  
my hearts to sand,  
flowing through the hour glass.  
I fall to pieces I can't let go,  
of all the times I never said goodbye._**

**_Just say that it's over,  
it's over and she's gone,  
don't worry he said,  
and she's not coming home,  
it's over and she's gone._**

Eyes beginning to swell with tears threatening to spill over her beautiful blue-green eyes, Parker noticed. Before they could run off the road and into a ditch, Parker grabbed the wheel and straightened the car out. _**'WAKEUP!'**_

"HELLO! Earth to fucking insane driver? Hey!" Parker nearly screamed in her ear. **_'WAKEUP!'_**

"What!" Alex responded while snapping back into reality.**_ 'WAKEUP!'_**

"We. Almost. CRASHED! What the fuck was that all about! Did you all of a sudden slip into a coma dipshit?" Parker retorted. With the song about to end, Parker noticed that tears were now pouring from Alex's eyes. "Are you crying? Oh my god. Alex? Talk to me." Parker pleading changing her tone desperately trying to get her sister's attention. With Alex still driving after coming out of her daze, she pulled over once again.

"I can't do this anymore. Living like it doesn't hurt; like nothing happened; nothing existed. Parker, I can't." With tears streaming down her cheeks, Alex just stared into oblivion. Silence fell over the Jeep. Parker knew that someone broke her sister's heart. She just had a feeling. So she didn't ask any questions. She just leaned over to Alex and pulled her into a hug. Alex broke down in Parker's arms while the song ended. "We'll get through this." Was all Parker could manage.

**_Wake up now it's over,  
just tell me it's ok to die  
Wake up now it's over,  
just tell me it's ok to die_**

**_

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**_-Next chapter soon. The song Life on Standby is from Hawthorne Heights. (This chapter didn't take that long for me to put up whoever it complaining. Cough, Toxic Relations cough. lol.)_**

**_ Ej_**


	5. Air Full of Tension

_**-Thanks for the reviews, but the more the merrier. They make me feel special. Anyways, on with Ch. 5. More from the Alex front.**_

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**__**Ultimately**_

**_Ch 5.-Air Full of Tension_**

**June 2; 5:30am**

After Alex got a hold of herself, they headed back to her place. This coming after about a half an hour of crying, followed by 10 minutes of pleading from Parker to Alex to tell her what was wrong. Of course Alex replied with nothing every five seconds. So Parker dropped it; for now. She didn't want to push Al. She knew when Alex got this upset, to just walk away and let her talk on her own when she was ready; like all the Kelly women do. That and she didn't want to get her head bitten off, or Alex to call their parents. She came here for a reason and didn't risk her freedom for nothing. So, Parker decided to wait at least until they got some sleep. Seeing her strong and independent sister so pained and disturbed in the car was brutal for her. She didn't know what was worse; being that hurt or watching someone you love that hurt. Parker kept stealing looks at Alex and Alex was just staring at the road the whole time like it was mesmerizing her into oblivion.

It was like Alex was made up of two people; two completely, different people. One was the vulnerable, fragile, helpless little girl that only Parker knew of, and the other was the strong, tough, hard-hitting, young woman who could kick anyone's ass in a split second that everyone _else_ knew. She was a girl who could be crying her eyes out for hours and the next minute could be walking around with her head held high, like nothing in the world could touch her; like nothing happened; like her heart was still in her chest and not some black hole rotting her to the core. But that was Alex; one-of-a-kind Alex. Parker was the only one who knew the real one.

When they got home, Alex snapped out of it a bit, relieved the guy left; whatever his name was. "So, you hungry?" Alex asked Parker, desperately trying to hide her anxiety.

"Why? You offering?" While hopping onto the counter, Parker responded back slyly acting as normal as she could.

"I got Hot Pockets."

"You hate Hot Pockets." Parker questioned suspiciously.

"I know, but… I bought them yesterday… for some odd reason. It's kind of weird actually. But I know you love'em."

"You're strange. But you know me best.., I guess." Parker, still dumbfounded by the strange Hot Pocket thing, paused contemplating if she wanted to ask her about the incident in the car. The question was eating at her, but she still decided against it. Instead, she asked her something different. Somehow, she knew the thing in the car had nothing to do with Jodie. "So… when did you break up with Jodie?"

"What?" Alex was caught off guard.

"Jodie. Or are you not going to tell me about that part either since you didn't tell me about you two in the first place." Leaping off the counter, Parker suddenly got somewhat demanding. It's that damn 'Bi-polar' again. She brought up things at the most peculiar times out of the blue. Something made Parker remember her hurting when it came to the 'Jodie Thing'. It was constantly on her mind. The subject always made he temper boil.

"I did tell you." Alex countered defensively while punching the 2 on the microwave.

"When you told Mom and Dad. Boy did that make me feel great. Real special." Parker said, almost yelling, sarcastically while getting in Alex's face as much as she could. Parks wasn't the tallest girl in the world; especially compared to her big sis. But she could hold her own. "I mean, we told each other everything." Alex turned her back on her, not wanting to see the hurt in Parker's eyes. Parker was getting worked up at this point. She was starting to feel dizzy. Al didn't notice.

"Can we please not get into this right now?" Alex's voice was starting to strain. Thinking how she kept Parker out of the loop so long ago made her realize; Parker was right. But she didn't want to argue. She was tired and exhausted. She also had to work at 1.

Before Alex could see, Parker calmed herself down, and her head started to feel better. She didn't want Alex to see her weak. She also didn't want her to worry about her headaches like her mom does. She didn't even know if Alex remembered about them but she didn't want to remind her if she didn't. She caught onto her voice, and dropped it, just like that. "Fine. But Lexi, it's not over; none of it." She knew she crossed that line she didn't want to quite yet. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Polar Bear." Alex giggled to herself at the name she hadn't called Parker in awhile. Ever since Parker was born, she always complained that she was hot all the time. The AC had to constantly be at least on medium everywhere. So, she started calling her Polar Bear. Parker hadn't heard it in forever. Only Alex called her it. She always gave a look of hate every time she heard it, but secretly loved. Alex knew this. She knew it made her feel special. Unfortunately, that was the only light of there slightly broken relationship.

By the time Parker finished eating and the silence just about got to both of them, it was almost 6:30am. But they both needed some sleep. After they got comfortable, they laid down. The silence was still killing Parker. Alex wasn't herself this whole time and the only way to get through to her was to ask her what her breakdown was all about. Make her talk. The agonizing question kept eating her, piece by piece no matter what she tried doing. She worried about her sis. Alex has never cried like that. EVER. But her head was starting to ache a bit again so she finally, once again, just let it go for now and fell asleep quickly.

Alex on the other hand, was struggling to fall asleep. Every time she shut her eyes, she saw Marissa. She heard her angelic voice; felt her lips on hers. She could taste her. But still just out of reach. Alex's eyes shot open and she grasped the idea that she broke into a cold sweat and her eyes were stinging with unshed tears. Fighting to even out her breathing, she looked to her side to see Parker laying there looking content. But she knew Parker had a right to know everything; no matter how painful it was to talk about. Maybe it would help to talk about what was on her mind. Parker was willing to listen; the only one Alex had right now.

'Just let her in.' was Alex's last thought before drifting off to sleep. She was determined to mend the secret grudge between them they both knew was there.

_**

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-I know its taking a long time for actual Malex action, but I have to build the story up. So Just be patient. I also have to build up Alex and Parker's relationship. So tell me what you think so far. And Review.**_

_**Ej**_


	6. Confessions, Confusion, Convinc

**_You kiddies have been waiting for this, huh? This one's pretty long for me at least. Whatever. Anyway, thanks for reviewing the last chapter. All I need are like two or three word reviews. I just need to know that I'm not just writing for my health, and personal joy. Thank you. And have a great day. Teehee. I'm retarded. (No offense to anyone.)_**

**_

* * *

_ **

_Ultimately_

**_Ch 6 - Confessions, Confusion, Convincing _**

**Cohen Residence; Seth's Room**

**June 2; 10:00am**

Summer walked into the Cohen house. She was determined to make Seth see how much he screwed everything up. She was going to force him to help her find Alex. He just wanted everyone to be happy. But no matter how much he wanted for the fantastic four to get back together, he had to realize what was at stake; Marissa's sanity, happiness, and even life. He played with people's feelings. If he really wanted happiness for everyone, he'd help and fix his dumb ass mistake.

The thing was, Seth _was_ sorry. It wouldn't take a lot for Summer to convince him. But then again, he would be turning his back on Ryan. But he had to help Marissa and Summer would kill him if he didn't. He was so confused. He hadn't seen Marissa in awhile. Maybe he should talk to her and maybe he would see the pain for himself. That's it.

"Seth Ezekiel Cohen!" Summer roared as she stormed into Seth's room.

"Before you go on, I have an idea. I know what I did with Marissa and Alex was stupid and totally low and selfish. But Ryan is my friend and he was unhappy." Seth explained fast.

"No Seth. We've had this argument, okay? I'm sick of it. I'm tired of hearing your stupid excuses. You played with their relationship. That's all I have to say about that. Now you said you had an idea. What is it?" Summer retorted irritated.

"Let me talk to Marissa."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm confused."

"About what?" Summer was getting confused herself not knowing where he was going with this.

"About whom I should help. Ryan is my best friend. He's in as much pain as Marissa. Breaking up with her would kill him. He loves her. He would go insane." He clarified.

"You haven't even _seen_ Marissa. She's not happy with him. Do you even know why she's upset?"

"Yeah. Alex."

"And why would she be upset about Alex?"

"Because she broke up with her."

"Why?"

"There's more?" Seth was more confused than before the argument started with Summer.

"YOU! You made Alex believe that Marissa was fooling around on her dipshit; with Ryan! You basically forced Ryan on her! You kept pushing and you made Marissa believe she wanted to be with Ryan again." Summer practically yelled in his face.

"Right. I knew that." Seth said with a nervous chuckle.

"So you have to fix it!"

"But Ryan's my-

"NO! Fuck Ryan! You're going to help me fix this. Ryan and Marissa are over Cohen. Get that through your head. She needs Alex. Okay? There's nothing for you to be confused about. Got it? Because if you don't help me, I'll be forced to kick your ass." And just like that, Summer made everything clear for Seth.

"Fine." Seth sighed in defeat. "But would it be possible for you to kick my ass anyway?" Seth answered with a witty comment. Summer on the other hand took the pillow on the bed and repeatedly smacked Seth with it.

**

* * *

Pool House **

**Same Time**

Marissa was out of her house for the first time in a week. She didn't know why the past week was worse than the rest of the time Alex was gone. It was because she finally realized her mistake. She had to do this. Her and Ryan weren't going to last and she didn't want him to think that they had hope. This would also take him off her mind and give her a bit of relief. This had to happen. It was now or never. Plus, at this point, she would do anything to get relief. She would do anything that might help to get Alex back. Wait; did she just think that? No. All she wanted was release. This had nothing to do with Alex; not at all.

So now Marissa was at the door. Step 1: knock. So she knocked. Ryan looked up and went to the door. _'Okay Marissa. Now you have to do this. There is no turning back. **Think of Alex.** No. It has nothing to do with her. **Yes it does. Face it, all you want is her. That's why you're breaking up with Ryan; Her.** No. **Yes! Remember the confession of you're real feelings? **Oh yeah; Alex. **Duh. Idiot.** What? **Nothing. Mind on Alex. **Right.'_ She thought chuckling to herself of the realization. This was all for Alex. If only she was here.

"Hey," Ryan mumbled nervously. He didn't want their relationship to end again. It had happened a few times and hurt more than the last one. He knew if they broke up again, than it was really over. It would end for good. He wasn't really sure why they would break up but he had a feeling. But they could talk everything through and they would be okay.

Step two: get right to the point. "We need to talk." Marissa decided to get right to it. She didn't even look at him in the eye. She couldn't bear to see the pain in them. She didn't want to hurt him but knew it would be more painful for him than her. He still loved her. But she loved Alex and everyone knew it. But did Ryan?

"I know. Look-

"No. Let me get this out. We have been on and off ever since we met, and still can't find the reason why we kept getting back together. It's been weird between us since you came back from Chino. This whole time, I thought that I loved you and at one time…I did. But…now? I feel alone. Even before the shooting and your brother coming to town I felt nothing. I guess we got back together just to make everyone happy, but myself. Everyone expected us to." Marissa didn't mean to be so direct but she didn't want to beat around the bush. She wanted this to be as fast as possible. "Ryan, I always came running back to you because I knew you would always be there. But I ran to you when I had someone too. And that gave me the impression that I still loved you." Now she was starting to tear up and on the verge of falling into Ryan's arms as usual. But she held back. "I still loved you when I was with DJ, and when you were with Lindsay, But…" She was going to have a panic attack soon if she stalled anymore. She couldn't say her name without bursting out into tears.

"It's okay." Ryan took a step forward when he saw a tear fall from her eye. "We can work out anything that's bothering you."

"No we can't." Marissa took a step back. She wasn't going to crumble like that anymore. She was strong. "Let me finish." She couldn't get it out. "When…" She couldn't say it. She took a couple of deep breaths. And closed her eyes. "After I met Alex, the 'boyfriend' love, if that makes any sense, disappeared. And I started to like her more and more with everyday and with those days, you faded. Ryan, I don't love you anymore. Not like that. I haven't since Alex. I only want you as a friend. It was stupid of me to choose you over her." Marissa spat out in a heat of courage. She surprised herself. She thought for sure that she would collapse into his arms like always.

"I love her." Marissa quietly said. She chuckled to herself at her accomplishment. She didn't know whether she should break out in tears or laughter from all the relief she felt lift off of her shoulders. Marissa just said the three words that took her so long to say for the first time. She just stood there. A few moments went by before she opened her eyes to see Ryan's reaction.

"Why?" Ryan asked.

That is so not what Marissa expected. That was the most surprising thing that she ever heard come out of Ryan's mouth and it was a simple, one word question. She was taken back and took a moment to respond. "Ummm…W-what?" She stumbled. She honestly thought that he would somehow understand. It was a Ryan thing to do; to understand. She was**_ dead_** wrong.

"What's so damn lovable about her? What does she have that I don't? Jesus Marissa! She's exactly like me. What's the difference?" Ryan was getting worked up. He turned from understanding to irrational.

"She's not you." Marissa finally found the courage and what she wanted to say to Ryan this whole time. She started getting irritated with his behavior and her tone changed as fast as Ryan's facial expression.

"Never mind. I don't want to hear it. Why don't you go drink some more?"

"That's not fair."

"I tried to get you to stop."

"You're the reason I started in the first place!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah really! You know what? Fuck this. This isn't the reason I came here."

"Then what _was_ the reason Marissa?" Ryan was losing his temper. He was starting to yell. "Don't. Say. Her. Name." He turned his back to her. His face was violently red.

"What are you gonna do Ryan, punch me? Go ahead. It's better than not having Alex here!" Marissa yelled in his face to provoke him making sure that the last word was the loudest.

That did it. Ryan quickly spun around and wound up blinded by the rage that was building up in him honestly ever since he found out Alex and Marissa were dating so long ago. But suddenly, Seth and Summer came bursting in and Seth dove in front of Marissa and took the punch from Ryan.

"Seth!" Summer yelled. She ran over to his side. "Ryan! What the fuck?"

"You were gonna hit her. You were gonna punch Marissa." Seth stated in shock and pain.

**

* * *

An L.A. Surf Shop **

**2:00pm**

**Same Day**

Alex, half asleep, was doing damn inventory at work that day. Not only was she tired to the point of exhaustion, but she was doing the most boring part of her job of the week. What a damn coincidence. But it was the first time that she didn't think of any of her problems. Usually, she could just zone out and clear mind. But not lately. She always thought of Marissa and how she was doing, and now her sister. She had to worry about her too. She always worried about Parker. But right now, nothing mattered. It was like she was there, but not really there. Not in her head.

The shop was empty as usual at this time of the day. Only she and another employee were working the shift. "Hayden, I'm going on break. And before you tell me I've only been working an hour, no one is here."

"Okay, but when you come back you're helping to stock this shit."

"Fine."

"Hey, Alex?" Hayden kind of became Alex's new best friend. She was like Jodie before they started going out. But Alex wasn't planning on dating Hayden anytime soon or ever. Before Parker came, Hayden was the only one she had. "Is something bothering you?"

"What? No. I'm fine." Alex gave her a reassuring smile that Hayden didn't buy at all.

"Don't lie to me. I know how to read you. What's up with you?" She asked matter-of-factly with concern in her voice at the same time.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. It's too much at one time. Okay? Please?"

"Okay."

"I'll be back in 20 minutes; I promise." Alex went to her jeep and grabbed her cell out of her pocket. She felt like something was wrong at home so she called to see if Parker was alright. Then she got that feeling at the pit of her stomach that she felt every once and awhile. The feeling was increasing with each passing moment of her life. Now she had two separate feelings that something happened. It was overwhelming her so she quickly dialed her house number. She got even more anxious when she got the answering machine. _'Maybe she was still sleeping. Nothing woke her up. She sleeps like a dead fish.'_ She thought to herself reasoning with herself that everything was fine. Before she knew it, her break ended 5 minutes ago.

"Alex!" Hayden yelled her name to the parking to get her attention which it did. She guessed that all this had to wait. She was about to get out of the jeep when her cell rang. She looked on the caller ID hoping it would be Parker. But it wasn't. She didn't recognize the number but decided to pick it up anyway while making her way back to the shop.

"Hello?" There was dead silence. Alex knew the person on the other line didn't hang up because there was no click. "Hello?" She asked again with a little annoyance in her voice.

But then something washed over her. She stopped dead. That damn feeling just wouldn't go away. And just then, she realized who the mystery person was who called. The only person she ever wanted to talk to. The one she wanted to be with; forever.

Dial tone.

****

_**I am finding out **_

_**That maybe I was wrong**_

_**That I've fallen down**_

**_And I can't do this alone..._**

**

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Lyrics by: _Paramore; My heart. _**

**You'll see them again in future chapters. Okay. Ryan's getting violent. That's the only thing I like about Ryan. Now, I would like to turn you're attention to the Review box thingy down there at the corner. Those reviews feed my ego. It's like the pot for my bong. Help the poor egos. It takes like 15 seconds, minimum. They are greatly appreciated. Thank you. **

** -Ej**


	7. The Encounter with the Devil

_**Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming after this one too. Ch 7.**_

_**

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Ultimately**_

**_Ch. 7-The Encounter with the Devil_**

**Alex's Place**

**1:45pm**

'_RING, RING! RING, RING!' _was the retched sound Parker woke up to. She cursed the phone. It was the fourth time that damn phone rang. Yesterday and the early morning was the longest time of Parker's short 15 years of life. All she wanted to do was sleep until the end of time. But some asshole wouldn't let that happen. Alex was at work so she was left to answer the phone. She managed to ignore it three times, but just had to get up for this one. Parker dragged herself out of bed and to the phone.

Half way through the hall, the answering machine picked up the phone. "Opps. I miss the phone. Darn." Parker mumbled to herself still half asleep. While turning around to go back to the bedroom, the person leaving the message caught her ear.

"Allie, please pick up the phone. I know you hate me but I also know that you can be a little over dramatic. We still have something between us. Just call me back and we can work this out. I miss you. Ever since you came down from Newport, I haven't been able to forget about you. Just call me. You know my number."

That voice! It always made Parker flinch. She clenched her fists, and started to turn bright red in the face. If it was possible, she swore her head would have burst. She told herself that if she ever saw her again, she would punch her. But she knew that would never go down go with Alex. She took Alex away from her. She hated Jodie with a passion. But this grudge really needed to be settled. That was the only reason she hated her. Now, Parker was temporarily living with Alex and Jodie was kind of like another sister with that exception of that grudge. And that was before they started dating. But the way she was talking made it sound like she wanted to get back together with Alex and that was the reason she didn't like Jodie. That part of her killed Parker a little inside. She hated that feeling.

All of a sudden, Parker couldn't breathe. The room was getting dizzy, and everything was getting blurry. Her head was pounding and she wanted to scream. But before she had a chance to let out a whimper, she collapsed and everything went black.

**

* * *

Cohen Residence**

**June 2; 10:30am**

Marissa dashed out of the pool house never looking back when Summer called after her. She couldn't believe what was going on. She knew things with her and Ryan were bad but she thought she could fix it. She thought he would understand. Out of all people, she thought he had to understand because of all the shit he went through with Teresa. But he completely exploded on her. She never thought that her life could fall apart anymore than it did already, but her heart was breaking all over again. Ryan was going to hit her. That was one of the scariest incidents Marissa has ever experienced; besides Trey.

She sped out of the driveway and onto the main road. With no destination, she just drove.

Tears forcefully ran down her cheeks with no way of stopping them. She had no where to go and no one to see. She was all alone. She pulled over after this realization came to her. Her cell kept ringing non stop. But she ignored it. Then something caught her eye. In between the driver's seat and the arm rest was something white. She pulled it out and just stared at the folded piece of paper with her name on it.

An hour later, she had the courage to unfold it and read it. It was dated March 18th 2005. That was the day they broke up. After that, lyrics to a song were scrolled messily.

_**Friends in Fall River **_

_**Your life lives half a nation away, my heart hurts so. I believe that letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life. What did I do? Alone and confused. What can I say? What can I do? I'm heading the wrong way home. Knowing alone is alone. It's just too difficult to be just me instead of we. What did I do? Alone and confused. What can I say? Nothing. I don't know where to begin 'cause you left me for him. I don't know where to begin since you left me for him. I don't want to start again, and I can't be your friend. I don't know where to begin now you left me for him.**_

_**AK**_

After reading it, she started her car, and was back on her way to nowhere now feeling even more like shit. She felt like driving off a cliff and when she spotted one, she almost did. 3 hours later, she was so out of her mind that she pulled over when she saw a phone booth, and she dialed the number of the one person that kept her from going insane completely. A few rings later, they picked up.

"Hello?" What was Marissa doing? How was she supposed to explain this? 'Oh I found this piece of paper that had your heart spilt all over it so I thought I'd give you a call.' Yeah right. "Hello?" She panicked. She didn't know what to say so she said nothing. Her heart sank and she just hung up.

She walked across the road to the other side. She stood in front of the railing looking down the steep ledge. The drop must have been at least 80 feet. Plus, the hard pavement down below would take anyone's life. The thought played over and over in her mind. She imagined the fall. All it would have to take is for her to hop the railing and jump.

There was no emotion in her at all in the moment. She just stood there not moving. If you looked into her eyes, you would probably see nothing; absolute blackness. She didn't know why this time was different from all the other times she contemplated it. It was because she lost all hope in everything this time. She lost hope in her parents, in her friends, in her. She just couldn't find a way to trust herself.

The pain was deep in the pit of her soul eating at her heart and the rest of her insides. She couldn't live with this anymore and she had to do it. But something kept pulling her back. One thought always stuck with her and now for the time being it was keeping her from killing herself. Alex. But she lost her because of her selfishness. Her decision was made. She had to.

But suddenly, her cell phone rang. "Marissa, where are you? Please come home." Summer pleaded to her. Her life was saved again. But not her head.

"Sum, I'm losing my mind."

_**This heart; it beats**_

_**Beats for only you**_

_**My heart is yours**_

**

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Robert's Residence**

**4:00pm**

Summer laid on her bed with her best friend finally sleeping without crying. That was it. She stole Marissa's phone out of her purse and began searching for Alex's name. She quickly found it, put the number into her phone and put back Marissa's phone. If Marissa couldn't talk to Alex, then she had to.

She then called Seth. She couldn't do this by herself. She hardly knew Alex. But Seth knew her. It rang a couple times and Seth picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey Hon. How's your jaw?"

"It's been better. Did you find Marissa?"

"Yeah. Right now, she's sleeping. She's a mess Cohen."

"What are we going to do?"

"First of all, keep Ryan the fuck away from her. Second, we're gonna find Alex and get them back together."

"And what if she's over Marissa?"

"Way to be optimistic Seth. It won't hurt to find out now would it? Where's Ryan?"

"He ran off after Marissa did. Why do you think he did it?"

"I don't know. But I'm sure Marissa does." Summer replied with a sad tone to her voice. She had two ideas. The first one was talk to Alex directly. If that didn't work, they would have to take farther measures.

**Later That Evening**

"I'm going to call her." Summer was contemplating on whether she should call Alex or not. What if Seth was right? What if she was over Marissa. That would kill any hope of making her best friend happy again. "Just call her Roberts. Damn it!" She couldn't. She was too pessimistic. "Ugh!" This was so frustrating. "That's it!"

She finally found the courage to press the call button on her phone. It rang a few times and just when Summer was about to give up anyone answering her call, someone finally picked up.

"**Hello? Alex Kelly's phone. She is unable to answer her phone at this time for she is preoccupied. I'm Hayden. Can I take a message?"**

"Are you a friend of Alex's?...Is she right next to you?...Well the thing is that I have to convince her to come back to Newport and I need someone's help that lives down there…Will you help me?...My name's Summer and my number's 8330915**…**Just call and I can explain everything. Don't tell Alex…Thank you." This was going to be more complicated then she thought. But at least she had someone in L.A. to help her. And just then, her plan changed.

_**The bright light beams **_

_**From her eyes,**_

_**Like broken glass.**_

_**Or a broken heart,**_

_**Who would have guessed?**_

_**You'd leave me here.**_

_**Beneath my eyes**_

_**I feel the tears,**_

_**I hold back**_

_**

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Songs: Silverstein;**_

_**Friends in Fall River **_

_**Last Days of Summer**_

**_Okay. It might not be the longest chapter, but it's not the shortest. Anyway, I wanted to get this out because I hate keeping you guys waiting. I guess.whatever. So read, review and enjoy. Be patient. I promise it will get better. I'm still building it up. I finally found where this thing is going. So go with me here. _**

_**-Ej **_


	8. Son of a Bitch

**_I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, it took so long. I won't let it happen again; hopefully. Okay. Ch 8. I actually got to a ch. 8. Anyway. Oh yeah; another 'lovable' character. I promise Malex is soon. Just please be patient._**

_**Ultimately **_

**_Ch. 8.- Son of a Bitch!_**

**Alex's Place**

**5:00pm**

Parker woke up to the phone ringing once again. She was out for over 3 hours. She still didn't know how she kept passing out; it just happened. But there was no way that she was gonna let Alex know. She didn't want her to worry. She had enough on her plate as it was. This would never happen in front of her. Maybe she was just tired still. Yeah; she did have one hell of a trip. Whatever. She brushed it off as exhaustion. She got up from the floor and picked up the phone. "What?" She asked groggily. No one answered. That always pissed her off. "Listen, just answer me. I'm not in the mood right now, okay?"

"Who are you and what are you doing picking up my girlfriend's phone?" Guess who?

"Oh, your girlfriend? Well I'm sorry, she's a little preoccupied at the moment. Can I take a message." Parker answered slyly making sure she sent that 'right' message to her. She knew exactly who it was and was going to make her tremble. She didn't recognize Parker's voice so it would be easy.

"Listen bitch, let me talk to Alex now. Otherwise, I'm gonna take that smart ass of yours and kick it!" They said angrily.

"Is that a promise? Cause I could schedule you in for 8ish if that's good for you." Parker held a laugh. This was actually harder than she thought it would be; at least to keep straight face.

"Okay. I'm gonna count to 5. If Alex isn't on this phone when I get to 5, I'm coming over there. Now let me talk to her." She said as calm as she could at the moment.

"Listen Jodie, I don't do orders. You should know that since Alex doesn't either, if you get my drift. She likes to be in control." Parker seductively replied.

"Wait, how do you know me? HEY!" Jodie was completely confused at this point.

"Jodie, you're so dumb. It's Parker." Parker was having a ball with her, but she was too tired to extend this game anymore.

"Oh my god. I'm coming over right now." Jodie squealed surprisingly to Parker. Why did she want to come over? Wait. Did she just squeal?

"Wait Jod…" Click. She hung up. Jodie didn't know Parker had a grudge. She was the last person Parker wanted to see. What was Parker going to do? The thing was, Parker liked Jodie as Alex's best friend, but not Alex's girlfriend. She could always hang out when they were just friends. But when they were going out, she got no attention and Alex would always be with Jodie, wanting to be _alone. _It was really complicated. It's just a little sister thing. Only Parker understood it. Right now, she didn't really like Jodie at this point and certainly didn't want to see her now. This was going to be fun.

**Surf Shop**

**Same Time**

"Let's get drunk tonight." Hayden suggested after finishing with the shelves.

"Can't. My sister's over my place." Alex retorted a little disappointed that she decided not to go out and get shit faced.

"Wait. Did you just say 'sister'?" She was astonished. They didn't really talk about family or their past, but come on, a sister?

"Yeah." Hayden gave her a 'what the fuck' look. "What? Yes, I have a sister. Why are you looking at me that way?" Alex was getting irritated as usual. She wasn't getting an answer.

"You have a sister and you didn't tell me? Why not? I mean you work with me, and you party with me. We hang out all the time and you didn't think it was important enough to tell me you have a sister?" Hayden was a little pissed but before she blew up in Alex's face like the drama queen she was, she would have to listen to Alex's reasoning.

"Yes. Listen, it was a sore subject for me. It's my past." Alex defended herself.

"Okay. So can't you tell me now?"

"I just did."

"Funny. You're a fucking riot."

"No; just a mild disturbance."

"Wh…" Before Hayden could finish, she was interrupted by the ringing of Alex's phone. Alex tugged the phone out of her pocket thankful for the disruption so she didn't have to talk about her family. But before she could answer it, Hayden yanked it from her hand and looked at the Caller I.D., then answered it.

"Hello? Alex Kelly's phone she is unable to answer her phone at this time for she is preoccupied. I'm Hayden. Can I take a message?"

"What the fuck? Would I do that to you?" Alex asked furiously trying to grab the phone away from Hayden. Hayden gave her a look that told her to not go there. Then suddenly realizing what she just said when she saw Hayden's face. "Wait. Don't answer that." Hayden just stared at her giving back her attention to the phone call

"Yep…Yeah…Okay…Sure…Right…Will do…Bye." Hayden hung up the phone and went to the front counter to ring up an actual customer; Alex hot on her tail.

"Well?"

"Well what? That's $21.58."

"Who was on _my _phone?"

"I don't know who it was. Have a nice evening." Hayden said with a fake smile for the customer. She turned to Alex and gave her a smirk.

"Hayden!" That made her jump. She never heard her so, angry or loud; at least sober. She threw Alex back her phone.

"Okay, okay. God. It was a girl. I didn't get her name but she said that she would just call back later." Hayden answered quite fast because she was kind of frightened by Alex at the time.

"Why can't I get the number? Private call. I hate that! Damn it!" Alex was about to throw her phone across the room against the wall. Everything was starting to get to her. It felt like she was about to snap on someone. The call from earlier threw her day all off. Maybe it was _Her _again.

"Calm down Lex. Don't have a cow. They'll call you back later. Okay." Hayden didn't want the one to get snapped on.

"I'm just frustrated is all." Alex confessed.

"Well go home and check on your sis. Miller should be here soon. I can hold the front until then. Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks. I guess I'm gone. See you later."

"Yeah; I'll be over when I get off, all right?" Hayden saw the defeat in Alex's eyes. She always worried about her; especially lately.

**Alex's Place**

**Later That Evening**

"I haven't seen you in forever." Parker wasn't paying attention considering the fact that she was still trying to catch her breath because Jodie sucked the life out of her when she hugged her. She was sitting on the couch with her head back staring up at the ceiling while trying to drown out Jodie as she talked and talked and talked. After about a half an hour, Parker had enough.

"Jodie?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut u…" She was cut off by the door opening and Alex walking in. Thank god. Parker was never happier than right now. Seeing Alex was what she needed to get Jodie off her ass. At least Jodie didn't hit on her.

"Hey Parker. I got off earl…Jodie." That's exactly what she needed; Jodie on her ass. She was about to have a serious break down in a minute. Seeing Jodie only brought more stress to her life. Why couldn't she catch a fucking break? She spent the whole time she was here trying to ignore the fact that she lived here too and suddenly, she was sitting in her living room with her sister. What the fuck? "What are you doing here?"

"Finally. How long have you been back in town?"

"NO. I asked why you're here, now tell me." Alex said forceful. She wasn't going to back down from her. Those days were gone. She was about 2 seconds away from kicking her ass right then and there.

"I'm gonna go find some dinner." Parker but in. She knew when to leave a room. There was no way in hell she was going to get in the middle of this shit.

"Why are you all up in my face? You haven't even seen me since you came down from Newport. Thanks for the fucking greeting." Jodie exploded.

"That's your problem. You think you deserve to be treated like I'm actually happy to see you!" Alex was infuriated. She couldn't believe they were right back to where they left the scream fest when she went down to get her stuff with… Marissa.

"Why do we always have to fight? Every time we're together at all, we always yell at each other. Why can't you look me in the eye?" Alex kept averting Jodie's eyes, looking every where but her face. "Was I really that bad of a girlfriend to you? Please talk to me." Jodie was pleading at this rate.

Finally finding the courage to look at her face, she saw the pain for the first time in awhile. Maybe it was time to put her differences aside and become friends again with Jodie. But why exactly was she here?

"I…"

"Hey. I told you I'd be over." Alex sighed in frustration. She was about to actually solve a problem in her crazy ass day and Hayden drops by with her impeccable timing. This day really couldn't get any worse. Scratch that; her life couldn't get any worse. She stormed into her room and slammed the door closed. "Was it something I said?" Hayden asked in confusion.

**30 Minutes Later**

**The Bedroom**

A knock at the door broke Alex out of her thoughts. She just wanted everyone to go away and leave her alone. She took a deep breath because she didn't want to yell in the face of the person that was behind that door that separated her just being able to forget her problems and having to explain her behavior from earlier. She decided to fuck it. "Go away."

"Come on Al. It's your favorite little sis." Parker retorted.

"You're my only little sis." Alex concluded. She was about to crack. She was feeling pressure from everyone; but especially from herself. Her mind needed to stop bothering her. It was bizarre. It was like her head was punishing her for something but didn't know what for. At the weirdest times, it kept bringing back memories of Jodie, her childhood and…

"All the more reason to let me in." Parker was determined to get her out of that room. She was not going to spend this whole time with a girl she didn't know, and Jodie alone.

"Come in." Alex gave in as usual.

Parker sat down on the bed next Alex who was lying down with her back towards Parker. "Can you tell me what that was all about because I'm drawing a blank?" Parker could always read Alex but this last outburst of hers stumped her.

"No." Alex answered with her back still facing Park. She felt like her mother was talking to her rather than Parker. That made feel like she was 8 again and she was about to get a long ass lecture.

"Alex, Please?" Pause. "Listen. I know I'm just your sister and I'm only 15, but I've been through plenty and I can tell you're having a hard time with something. So spill it." All parker wanted was for Alex to talk to her; with everything going on out in the living room, this would have to wait. She'd have to deal with that shit first. And after the long pause from Alex, she knew she had to wait longer to hear her talk. So she let out a long, frustrated sigh and gave up, for the millionth time in two days! "Fine. But if you're not gonna talk to me now, then you get the privilege on sucking everything up that's going on in that diminutive head of yours, put your differences aside, and be civil to _'your'_ friends, if that's what you call them, out there because I'm not dealing with them. Got it?" Parker demanded Alex.

Alex sat up, faced Parker and nodded her head in a scared way, but tauntingly. "Good. Come on. I can't take anymore of Jodie by myself."

"Fine. But I won't enjoy it."

"I hope not. How could you stand her before? Or enjoy her company?" Parker took a second to think about that question. "WAIT! Don't answer that." Laughing, Parker asked Alex one more thing. "Could you do me just one favor?"

"Anything."

"Straighten things out with Jodie. I don't know if I should hate the Bitch or love her like another demented sister." With that, the twosome were on their way to dinner; with Jodie, and Hayden. But Hayden had plans of her own. She was on a mission; to find out more about one of her best friend's past. And to figure out what that girl, Summer, wanted.

**_There. It gets better. Just tell me please if its heading in a good direction. I just want a lot of twists and turns. I know you want Malex. But hey its all about patience. Just please review. I need my fix. _**

_**-Ej**_


	9. Destiny Sucks

**_This should clean up a lot of the elements of the story. Like where everyone is in this story. It should clear up any confusion anyone might have. And it will get moving after this chaptepromise. _**

_**

* * *

Ultimately**_

_**Ch. 9 Destiny Sucks**_

**7:00pm**

**Summer**

Summer sat on her bed with Marissa right there next to her still sleeping restlessly. She was getting anxious. She couldn't wait to put her plan into action so she was waiting for that phone call to start it up. She flipped through the channels at least 10 times in the span of about 30 minutes. With nothing on, she turned off the television and swung over to face Marissa. She looked like she about to crack into a million pieces at any moment. And she was only sleeping.

Still anticipating that damn call, Summer started to wonder; what if this was all a big mistake? Maybe she was making things worse for everyone. She was second guessing herself for the first time in her life. Then, looking back at her broken friend, another thought popped into her head. This was the last resort. The Fantastic Four was officially dead and Seth just had to get over that fact. This had to happen but Marissa wasn't going to know about it until Summer knew that it was going to work. She had to be 100 sure. Marissa couldn't get hurt again. Speaking of the Fantastic Four, where the hell was Ryan?

**Seth**

"Hey Ryan. It's Seth; again. Call me when you get this. I'm worried about you. I don't want you end up doing anything that you'll regret. So, just check in with me. Bye." Seth was calling Ryan for an hour and never got a hold of him. So he just left another message. Everything was falling apart right in front of him. He couldn't do anything to stop this catastrophe. All at once, it was all changing. He couldn't get a hold of Ryan, Marissa was dying inside right in front of his eyes, and he needed to fix it. The Fantastic Four was dead. He exacerbated everything; including this.

**Marissa **

The sun rose and shone through the window. It landed on the most gorgeous face she saw illuminating the mystery person's face. Their deep blue-gray eyes opened instantly connecting with her brown ones. Marissa was in heaven. She felt safe; like nothing in the world could touch her. When she was here, he couldn't get to her. This was where she wanted to stay forever.

"Hey."

"Hey beautiful." Marissa blushed at this.

"I love being with you."

"And I love you." Life couldn't get any better than this Marissa thought. This was how it was supposed to be. She nestled into her lover's side and sighed contently. The world was on their side for once and she was happy. She would never let this go.

"I lov…" They were interrupted by a loud crash out in the kitchen. "What was that?" Marissa asked concerned.

"I don't know. I'll be right back. You stay here okay?"

"But…"

"But no. Stay here." With that, they left the bedroom with a bat in hand, trying to find the root of the noise. Marissa couldn't take it anymore. She hopped out of bed and ran to the door. Right when she opened the door, bang! A gun shot rang out through the whole apartment.

"ALEX!" Marissa shouted with a mixture of fear and shock in her eyes. She ran to Alex catching her in the process before she could fall to the floor. She slowly led her down to it and put her head in her lap. With the gunshot wound in Alex's stomach, something in Marissa's head gave her the worst end to this traumatic situation. "Alex." Marissa whispered her name while starting to sob.

Alex gasped for air, while struggling to keep her eyes open and on Marissa. Her breathing becoming increasingly short, she only said one thing. "I love you Riss."

"I lo…"

"Marissa. Marissa. Marissa!"

Her eyes shot open. Summer was calling her for the pass 10 seconds and she finally woke up. With her face falling from the look on Marissa's face, Summer took her in her arms. Marissa had that same dream 3 times in the last day. It never had a chance to end and could never find out who the person was that shot Alex. She started to cry again. All her emotion poured out of her eyes yet again and there was no way to stop it.

**

* * *

Alex's Place**

**Same Time**

The four girls were sitting in the living room eating _Easy Mac_, because there was nothing else to eat, in complete and utter silence. No one had anything to say. It was like they all suddenly took a vow of silence. Parker kept rolling her eyes every time she stole a glance at Alex. She wanted her to talk to Jodie now; not later. Alex just stared at her bowl wishing she was somewhere else. Hayden was the most confused person in the world at the moment not understanding the tension in the room. She didn't want to ask because earlier all she did was walk in the apartment and she got her head bitten off. She didn't want to piss anyone off again. Jodie just sat there and ate her _Easy Mac_.

Parker couldn't take it anymore so she broke the silence. "Well I'm done. Anyone want to watch T.V? Hayden?"

"What?"

"Urgh! Never mind. Alex, Jodie, why don't you go on a walk. Hayden and I we'll stay here and watch T.V. Right Hay?"

"Okay. Wait; did you just call me Hay?"

"Okay. You two have fun, but not _too _much fun." Parker warned.

"But…" Alex tried.

"Please go. Bye." Parker pushed them out the door, then closed and locked it. Okay; Mission One was off the ground. Now it was up to Alex to get things 'Straight' with Jodie. Like that would ever happen.

**

* * *

On The Walk**

They got two blocks and neither of them talked. It was so awkward that even Jodie was uncomfortable and she is never uncomfortable. Alex didn't know where to start. She didn't want to break her heart but she also didn't want to send the wrong message either. She wanted to stay friends with Jodie but didn't know how to put it. So she went with her instinct.

"Wh…" Jodie quickly cut her off.

"You couldn't just call me up and tell me you were alive once? Would it have killed you just talk to me? I mean am I that bad of a person?"

Alex didn't see this coming. Maybe she was just pulling more 'Jodie bullshit.' No. She had a feeling Jodie was serious. "Well, do you blame me? Last time I came back to town, you thought I wanted you back and you pulled the same shit to lure me into your wanting. I became the same speechless idiot I always was around you."

"So… I am that bad of a person." Jodie started to tear up. Wait. Jodie, tear up? Hell just froze over. Alex was sure of that.

"No. Jodie of course you're not. You're a great person; when you're not flirting, perverted, trying to get in my pants, talking…"

"I get it, thanks. You really know how to make me feel confident." Jodie actually felt bad for once. It became quiet again.

"Listen. Why do you keep calling me? What do you want?" Alex needed to get this done quickly.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. The only reason you would come back is if you wanted me back." Jodie paused to look at Alex. Disappointed, she continued after the look on Alex's face said 'no.' "Or you're running away from you're problems. You always do. You did from me." Jodie whispered that last part under her breath.

"No. I just… I just couldn't take it."

Jodie ignored her explanation and jumped to another subject. "Alex. I know you thought our relationship was a complete sham and I lied a shit load, but I never lied to you about loving you."

Alex slid her hand in Jodie's to comfort her and began to speak again after a couple of minutes of silence. "Jo, I never questioned that. I'll always love you. You were my first everything."

"I just… Don't want you to forget me."

"How could I forget you? You're always here." Jodie chuckled through the tears that started to fall. Alex couldn't believe she was crying. Her voice started to crack when she began to talk again. "I don't want to lose you. You were my best friend in school. I want that back."

They stopped walking and turned to each other. Jodie took Alex in a huge. They stood like that for about 5 minutes. Jodie pulled away, sniffled and began to talk. "So, we're friends again?"

"Damn straight. As much as I can't stand you being around, I couldn't stand not having you around more."

"Since we made up and we're friends again, would there be any chance we could put 'with benefits' after it?" Alex just stared at her while Jodie wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

"You just had to ruin a perfect moment, didn't you?" With that, Alex started to walk back to her place with a 'typical Jodie' look on her face, leaving Jodie behind to catch up.

"Is that a no?"

**

* * *

Mean While Back at Alex's Place**

"Finally." Parker sighed in relief. Watching Hayden rummage through her pocket, she asked what she was doing.

"Here it is. I'm calling someone."

"Well, who are you calling?"

"Shh. I'm on the phone." Parker shot her a 'duh' look and rolled her eyes. "Summer? Hey this is the girl from earlier Now spill." After a brief summary of the past 6 months to explain everything, Hayden hung up the phone and turned to a very impatient Parker.

"Well?"

"We're going to get Alex and Marissa back together."

"Awesome. Wait. Who's Marissa and why would we… Is that what's been bothering her this whole time?"

"Yeah. Apparently, this Marissa girl has been depressed ever since Alex left Newport." Seeing everything put into place, Parker and Hayden found the root to Alex's unhappiness; a broken heart.

"Son of a BITCH! I'm going to KILL her! Why didn't she tell me in the first place? I've been pushing her to tell me what's been bothering her since I came up and I have to here it from you?" Parker was furious. But that was just to hide the hurt in her heart. Another thing she had to find out from someone else.

"Calm down. Maybe she just wasn't ready to talk about it. Are you okay?" Parker looked like she was going to faint again and Hayden was getting worried. She led Parker to the couch.

"I'm fine; just pissed. I'm going to bed." Parker headed off to the bedroom.

"Wait. Are you sure you're okay."

"Yeah."

"Are you gonna help me tomorrow?"

"With what?"

"Getting your sister happy again?"

"I'll sleep on it." Parker closed the door with those departing words. Her relationship with Alex was falling apart and she didn't know what to do to fix it.

Meanwhile with Parker in bed and Alex and Jodie not back yet, she called Summer back up to get this plan in gear. "Hey… Hayden… Okay, this is what I was thinking. Since Alex's birthday is coming up soon, her sister and I could bring her on a surprise road trip. It would be perfect… Okay. Shit I got to go. She's back… bye. Hey."

"Who were you talking to? And where's Parker?" Alex questioned Hayden.

"No one. Why?"

"You were just on the phone."

"I was… checking my voicemail." Hayden answered bullshit practically dripping down her mouth and Alex could see it but decided to call her on it later.

"Never mind. So Parker's in bed?"

"Yeah. She just went in a couple of minutes ago. You should talk to her. Tell her what's on your mind. I'm gonna head out. Night." With that, Hayden was gone.

"O-kay." Alex was now the most confused person in the world at this point. Maybe she should just worry about it tomorrow; ask Parker what's up later. Right now, all she wanted was for this day to end. It was one of the longest days of her life.

"I'm gone too. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." Jodie said.

"Yeah. Night." With a huge hug and the closing of the door, Alex dragged her feet into her room where Parker was already sound asleep. Alex watched as Parker's face kept changing from content, to stress. She knew it was her fault. "Tomorrow, everything will come out; I promise."

**_

* * *

Okay. I hope that cleared some shit up. Whatever. Anyways. I'll thank for all the comments now. And keep posting them. They help. I hope I'm not going too slowly with posting the chaps. I might be able to speed it up soon but I'm not making any promises. Keep reading please. Thanks._**

_**-Ej**_


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